11 Years Written by Strangers: Introduction

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. Maya Angelou

Introduction

Eleven years written by strangers is a personal account reflecting on my foster care records and revealing ignored systemic negligence.  There will be two parts consisting of what was documented in each report followed by my thoughts and reflections. I’m a mixed-race adoptee, failed by a system meant to protect which led to me suffering years of sexual, physical, emotional and racial abuse. My adoption took years to happen, it was forced, possibly even illegal because my parents never consented to it nor signed any paperwork. It has been an emotional journey, uncovering the truth about my birth mother and my adoption. It took me thirty years to gain access to the notes; I had been told I was never under the care of Southwark council despite their stamp being on what scraps of info I did possess. Many times, I tried to get them and gave up as it was emotionally exhausting.

In 2018 I had some success after I’d contacted my local council, which was followed by a meeting with a social worker who had found some paperwork. There were only a few documents which did not contain any useful information. There was however a one-page letter included from my birth mother to my foster mother that would change everything for me. It was a day I will never forget as it was the day I discovered what I had been told about my birth mother and how I ended up in care, was a lie told by my foster parents.

It took a further five years to be given my care records, and I finally received them in 2023. Reading the reports from social workers visits was truly heartbreaking and the narrative does not reveal the true horrors of my foster care placement.  My mother was failed, ignored and had her child taken from her and I was failed in the most damaging way, suffering a traumatic childhood. Their failures are not historical because it still impacts me and i carry the scars and wounds to this day, so it was not in my ‘Best Interest’, to be placed in care. 

With the notes came a summary completed by an independent social worker which was the first time it was acknowledged that there had been numerous failures in my care. It’s clear to see them straight away, my birth mother and me were doomed from the very beginning. As a nurse it astounded me the language used and the way reports were written as there was a lack of compassion. Having my care notes has been an emotional and triggering roller coaster journey to finding Susan. There have been many, many tears shed, lots of anger, and raised question after question. I found out truths, which led to understanding my mother’s story and mine. I also realised how brave that little girl had been, her incredible strength and courage which enabled me to continue to heal my inner child.

The care system is still failing children and families I hope any social workers reading this, makes them think about their own practice. Most importantly I hope it helps other adoptees, giving them a voice as I am just one of the thousands of children failed by a system meant to provide a better life.

Thank you for reading,

Blessings

Finding Susan

Next: 11 Years Written by Strangers: The Beginning: https://findingsusanwrites.com/?p=177

** I mentioned a letter from my birth mother which I have written about so watch out for that when I post it. **